11/2/2017 3 Comments Complications in a Fake FightIt’s complicated. It’s so complicated. Is it really that complicated? Take off your clothes. Sit and a circle with covered eyes and sing. Scream. Disappear. It doesn’t truly matter. Welcome to the rest of your life they say, smiling and locking the door behind you. It’s an unspoken truth; there is only one escape, a last resort, an unspeakable. But don’t take it from me. Listen to their speech, their speeches, so many speeches! We all want to be so smart. We want to figure it out before anyone else. I’m the genius in the room, learn from me, respect my words as I spill them all over you. Disgusting.
Everything is spilling, spilling, spilling and we don’t know how to fix it. We patch and pray and watch the disaster unfold all around us. It’s interesting so it’s okay. I can write about this later in that secret notebook I keep stashed underneath my pillow. Pillow? A hideaway, full of dirty socks and the best kept secrets of your small existence. Everything is small but it’s so, so big and we can’t seem to truly escape. Escape? What have I told you about that? It’s impossible. Except that it isn’t, but we won’t consider that for now, it is too unpleasant. There are some people who even believe “that way” is not an escape. That after trying to leave “that way” you will instead become sucked down into the gooey bottom of the world. I miss the world as it was when there was no heaven she says to her pastor. “But there was always a heaven” he replies, doubt suddenly trailing his words. Everything is complicated. ‘I just want to go home’ she cries quietly to herself. But he’s heard her. He’s afraid of those words. His blood feels colder all of the sudden. Wasn’t she home? She sits balled up in a bed (hers?) drowning in sadness and snot. She’s crying over nothing really but with each tear that falls it grows. Soon it is everything. He feels strange. An onlooker trapped in the viewing compartment of a train as it circles its victim. A small child bound to its tracks. ‘I miss everything’ more sobs. His eyes feel wet. He is trapped, he feels lonely for her. He wants to reach out and touch her, trapped in his box. A new form of torture? Why is he there? He hates feeling her loneliness. He wants to feel his own, to touch his own skin and have it feel familiar. He sits and claws at his face. No pain. No sensation. She is crying harder. He balls up like her. It feels like the only thing to do. She is screaming. She is having an imaginary fight with an imaginary someone. They have been cruel to her. What is their name? Where did they come from? She laughs with no pleasure. She is angry. An angry laugh. Something happy—filled with poison. His fingernails begin to tingle, he looks down and tugs. One by one each fingernail exits his hand, falling to the floor of his glass looking box with graceful precision, falling in a neat pile at his feet. She is lonely, yelling at no one--a wall, a pillow, a dresser drawer. Whose room is this? Why am I here? He is lonely so lonely, he is getting smaller now, shrinking like his empathy. The girl is still crying. He no longer cares. He watches the room get small while he melts, melts, melts into his glass box. He looks to his right. His fingernails are stacked high above him. He has matched their size--finally equal but even more afraid. The girl is screaming and crying and hitting a picture on the wall. It is a picture of a house. (He does not care.) He is small and here and trapped in a box the size of a person while he is now the size of his lost fingernails. He laughs. So complicated.
3 Comments
3/5/2020 06:43:44 pm
A fake fight is just not what I want to watch. Sure, the WWE or wrestling entertainment is just like that, but that is different. When I watch fights, I want to see something that will make me want to do things. I mean, think about the people who actually love to watch fights, it is just insane. I hope that I can become able to understand which fights to watch and which fights are just not worth my time.
Reply
11/22/2022 04:18:38 am
I was looking for someone who would make my essay cheap. I stumbled across these guys from PaperCoach and they helped me with my college paperwork.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorAvery Atlas is the author of all posted pieces. Archives
January 2021
Categories |